Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
