And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
