I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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