so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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