p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My dick has a subreddit
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
