Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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