At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize