I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
