Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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