She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
