Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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