HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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