We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
