Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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