Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
