Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
