Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
