My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
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