you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize