He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize