I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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