the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
