I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
