Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize