White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
