my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Watching her eat just hurts me
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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