marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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