Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
