You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
