I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
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