Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
