I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
