Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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