i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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