FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
