when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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