Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just cut my nipple shaving
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
