i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
