I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
