There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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