He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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