Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
