You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
They took my balls.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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