She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
