Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
How does it feel to date your dad?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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