Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
