Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The power of my boobs compel you
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
