what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize