its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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