Who did Billy Mays play for?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
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