bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
