It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
