thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I fill condoms, not promises.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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