After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
