I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
