So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
