I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
