apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
