I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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