I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
